keep your friends close and your classmates as far away as possible

This may seem like a stupid thing to say, but one unavoidable aspect of classes are the other students. Whether or not you are in a physical classroom or posting in an online class forum, dealing with other students is impossible to escape. When you have a difficult professor, sometimes it's nice to have another person to deflect some of his attention. Other times, well... lets just say that not all classmates are BFF material.

Now, normally classmates develop a "bonded together through misery" type of relationship, similar to soldiers in trench warfare. You hate the class, you hate the teacher, you hate the topic but having that person at the next table who shares your hatred can form a strong alliance. After all, misery apparently loves whatever socially awkward and loud company it can get.

There are many different types of fellow students, but I have categorized (code: stereotyped) some of the average types you will encounter.

The Silence-of-the-Bored-s:
A rather unmotivated group, these students will stare off blankly in the general direction of the front of the room. They never speak up in class and seem to have a perpetually unfocused gaze. Many times you may wonder if they are conscious. Or alive. Don't be alarmed, they are simply bored. At least, I assume, I've never successfully held a conversation with one. However, you never want to be assigned a joint project with one of these students. They will not help you, voice their opinion, or even give you their name. You will never speak with this person again, assuming you did at all.

The Ghost Whisperers:
This group of students come in pairs with an attached friend. More often then not, they will choose a spot near you and proceed to whisper throughout the entire semester. Not necessarily loud enough to disturb the entire class, just loud enough to disturb you. During a rather important part of the lecture, you will suddenly be privy to information you neither desire or have a need for. Sometimes you won't even be able to hear more than mice-like squeaks and giggles. This person(s) is too preoccupied to ever notice you, and you will most likely never speak to them. Consider yourself lucky.

The Commiserate-rs:
These students are bonded together during periods of distress, often under the instruction of a mutually despised professor. Generic grumbling before class, meaningful glances during, and full-blown complaining afterward are the main conversation tactics that drive these relationships. These students are often more forceful than you in their hatred towards the teacher but you completely agree with them nevertheless. This is a deep, meaningful relationship that will end when the class does. Enjoy their company, copy notes, and then move on.

The Re-questioners: 
A group of students that everyone loves and hates. You love them because you look brilliant in comparison, and you hate them because they ask idiotic questions. These students don't seem to have a full pack of braincells to work with; as a result, they resort to asking questions on material the instructor literally just finished explaining. Evidently, listening the first few times, just wasn't enough. Beware if you sit by them, they have a tendency to turn to the person next to them if the teacher didn't explain to their standards. However, if you tell them you don't understand as well, they will feel obligated to ask the instructor on your behalf. If you are pulled into a relationship with one, I am sorry. But take heart, it will end shortly before finals.

The Walking-in-your-Shoes-rs:
Perhaps the best group of students you will encounter are those in your class who are working toward the same or a similar major. Often times, you are like-minded enough to enjoy their company and will have multiple classes with them. Finally, someone else understands when you talk about Piaget's stages of development and can comment on your application of Bernoulli's Principle. Having a kindred spirit in a tough class can make your entire semester. These relationships often last beyond class and can continue past college. Cherish them.

The Do-You-Even-Know-How-to-Stop-Talking?-rs:
One of the most detested students to ever darken a desk, this group of people has been told from an early age that they are smart/pretty/engaging/funny and they believe it is their personal mission to let everyone else know. Pretentiously sitting near the front of class, they will quickly abandon the ritual of raising their hand in favor of simply talking. These students have something to say about anything and everything and they will not hesitate to broadcast it. Even if all they are saying is "you know that's right" after the teacher explains something. You will wonder if they are capable of not speaking, but soon you'll be too irritated to even care. These people will talk at you if given the chance, but often won't last beyond the length of the class. After all, they don't care what you think.

The Average College Student:
These students come to class about on time, sit in an average location, speak up an average amount, put in an average amount of effort, and get average grades. They constitute roughly 65% of all college students. These students may strike up great relationships with you. Or you may not even notice that they exist. I am one such student.

These are the most basic categories of potential classmates. Remember, they are a necessary part of college life, and it is not acceptable to strangle them if they don't shut up. Maybe they're just as
miserable as you.