keep your friends close and your classmates as far away as possible

This may seem like a stupid thing to say, but one unavoidable aspect of classes are the other students. Whether or not you are in a physical classroom or posting in an online class forum, dealing with other students is impossible to escape. When you have a difficult professor, sometimes it's nice to have another person to deflect some of his attention. Other times, well... lets just say that not all classmates are BFF material.

Now, normally classmates develop a "bonded together through misery" type of relationship, similar to soldiers in trench warfare. You hate the class, you hate the teacher, you hate the topic but having that person at the next table who shares your hatred can form a strong alliance. After all, misery apparently loves whatever socially awkward and loud company it can get.

There are many different types of fellow students, but I have categorized (code: stereotyped) some of the average types you will encounter.

The Silence-of-the-Bored-s:
A rather unmotivated group, these students will stare off blankly in the general direction of the front of the room. They never speak up in class and seem to have a perpetually unfocused gaze. Many times you may wonder if they are conscious. Or alive. Don't be alarmed, they are simply bored. At least, I assume, I've never successfully held a conversation with one. However, you never want to be assigned a joint project with one of these students. They will not help you, voice their opinion, or even give you their name. You will never speak with this person again, assuming you did at all.

The Ghost Whisperers:
This group of students come in pairs with an attached friend. More often then not, they will choose a spot near you and proceed to whisper throughout the entire semester. Not necessarily loud enough to disturb the entire class, just loud enough to disturb you. During a rather important part of the lecture, you will suddenly be privy to information you neither desire or have a need for. Sometimes you won't even be able to hear more than mice-like squeaks and giggles. This person(s) is too preoccupied to ever notice you, and you will most likely never speak to them. Consider yourself lucky.

The Commiserate-rs:
These students are bonded together during periods of distress, often under the instruction of a mutually despised professor. Generic grumbling before class, meaningful glances during, and full-blown complaining afterward are the main conversation tactics that drive these relationships. These students are often more forceful than you in their hatred towards the teacher but you completely agree with them nevertheless. This is a deep, meaningful relationship that will end when the class does. Enjoy their company, copy notes, and then move on.

The Re-questioners: 
A group of students that everyone loves and hates. You love them because you look brilliant in comparison, and you hate them because they ask idiotic questions. These students don't seem to have a full pack of braincells to work with; as a result, they resort to asking questions on material the instructor literally just finished explaining. Evidently, listening the first few times, just wasn't enough. Beware if you sit by them, they have a tendency to turn to the person next to them if the teacher didn't explain to their standards. However, if you tell them you don't understand as well, they will feel obligated to ask the instructor on your behalf. If you are pulled into a relationship with one, I am sorry. But take heart, it will end shortly before finals.

The Walking-in-your-Shoes-rs:
Perhaps the best group of students you will encounter are those in your class who are working toward the same or a similar major. Often times, you are like-minded enough to enjoy their company and will have multiple classes with them. Finally, someone else understands when you talk about Piaget's stages of development and can comment on your application of Bernoulli's Principle. Having a kindred spirit in a tough class can make your entire semester. These relationships often last beyond class and can continue past college. Cherish them.

The Do-You-Even-Know-How-to-Stop-Talking?-rs:
One of the most detested students to ever darken a desk, this group of people has been told from an early age that they are smart/pretty/engaging/funny and they believe it is their personal mission to let everyone else know. Pretentiously sitting near the front of class, they will quickly abandon the ritual of raising their hand in favor of simply talking. These students have something to say about anything and everything and they will not hesitate to broadcast it. Even if all they are saying is "you know that's right" after the teacher explains something. You will wonder if they are capable of not speaking, but soon you'll be too irritated to even care. These people will talk at you if given the chance, but often won't last beyond the length of the class. After all, they don't care what you think.

The Average College Student:
These students come to class about on time, sit in an average location, speak up an average amount, put in an average amount of effort, and get average grades. They constitute roughly 65% of all college students. These students may strike up great relationships with you. Or you may not even notice that they exist. I am one such student.

These are the most basic categories of potential classmates. Remember, they are a necessary part of college life, and it is not acceptable to strangle them if they don't shut up. Maybe they're just as
miserable as you.

the blues

You know what I love about the first day of school?............

Yeah, me neither.

Quite honestly, the first day of class sucks. There's no parking, every single class takes 52 minutes to go over a 20 page syllabus, someone always takes the good seats by the window, the cafeteria is packed, the bookstore is packed, the hallways are packed, and one callus teacher will have homework assigned that's due in 2 days.

But no worries, this will pass. In two weeks, you will be able to park within eye-sight of a building, the class will be into the assigned coursework, and the person who sits by the window will probably drop out.

The average college student, especially a returning student, will most likely encounter a period of diminished spirits and lackluster efforts. I call this "the blues." The blues often strike during the first week of school, following in the wake of the stressful first day. Returning to the monotonous grind of schoolwork following weeks of vacation and free time is borderline depressing. Plus (depending on what part of the country you're in) the weather is often dreary. All in all, trudging around under the weight of a newly loaded backpack becomes increasingly difficult.

The blues do not necessarily last very long. However, the period that they do stay seems to take years. Homework, if completed at all, is done so in a lackluster manner; work is sluggish and slow, and free time drags on with little to no motivation. Eventually, school settles in, work returns to normal, and the blues start to dissipate.

Sadly, once the blues are gone, you are still in the middle of a long semester. Hopefully you will build up momentum and tackle each new assignment with enthusiasm. Most likely though, you will settle into a stressful rut where you procrastinate, cram, and lose sleep over last minute assignments.

Join the club.

the epic struggle

Today, I had the enormous pleasure of fighting tooth and nail through a crazed line of a couple hundred people to purchase one of the most essential elements of each semester: The textbooks.

The day started out well enough. I had to get off work so I could get to the bookstore in the first place, but that really only messed up the rest of my week. Then I found out that I couldn't get my books until I paid fees at the business office. Did you know that most colleges have a business office? I didn't. Long story short, thirty minutes and one heck of a walk later, I found the hidden business office and forked over a few hundred bucks for fees that I didn't know existed. The payment of these fees led me back to the bookstore to two different help desks and six additional forms to sign. Armed with a hefty stack of papers, I set forth into the mad scramble to find my textbooks.

There is an interesting feel to college bookstores. Much like I would imagine a bank run to feel like. People are quickly walking back and forth, pretending that they aren't panicking while desperately searching for something that they can't find nor afford. In turn, they are hounded by the "helpful" attendants who ask if they need help with such frequency that one wonders if they know how to say anything else. It's amazing how complicated the bookshelves of textbooks are. Are they numerical, are they alphabetical? I mean, who knows? But no one wants to admit to the employees that no, they aren't "finding everything okay". However, letting them know the truth is futile; they really don't know where anything is either. Agreeing to their assistance only ensures that they will lead a desperate tour through the entire bookstore to end up back in the exact location where they originally volunteered their help, the only thing gained from the experience is the loss of roughly fifteen minutes.

After fighting through the surprisingly dense crowd, who all seem to congregate in front of the exact location of the book I'm looking for, I stood in the slow moving line for 20 minutes. No, that's not an exaggeration. At this point, I am carrying my stack of forms, two additional pieces of paper, about seven textbooks, a study guide, and a notebook. I personally think I strained my elbow. Every 45 seconds or so, I'd move two feet forward. One would think that a checkout manned by a minimum of 5 people would check out two hundred students at a quicker pace. After the excessive wait, I gained three more forms, signed about five more, and gained two bags full of textbooks worth the cost of a small car. And it only took 2 hours.

I have a policy of always visiting my classrooms before classes start. This comes from a panic filled first day where I left my class schedule at home and spent 20 minutes convinced I was in the wrong room. So today I found each of my classrooms and determined that I have enough time to get from one room to another between classes, assuming I sprint the entire way. This shall prove to be an interesting semester. Well, the epic struggle for books has been won. Only time and my bank account will tell if it was worth it.